{Of all lies, art is the least untrue - Flaubert}

Friday, March 04, 2005

The Beauty of Solitude

Some of us will define solitude as emptiness, but I must say that is full, full of you. It is the time you really think clearly. It is the time you think about the things that can never be thought in non-solitude. Anyway this argument can be easily written off on the basis of being too subjective/perspective, but writing off seldom weaken the argument that is gained out of experience but let me explain a bit.

I have tried to make my days into something that they were not and failed miserably. Mood can't be made, if it can be, it can't be mood. Solitude should be seen in the right light not that solitude is a epidemic or it is a incorrigible state of mind or being alone or just absence of others. Try to remove solitude from any light of guilt as these two mix well. We feel guilty to be solitary and think we are alone because we are no good for company. The other way to put it will be, company is not good for us. At least you will not feel guilty for being yourself.

Solitude is also associated with a feeling that nobody cares for you. Now this a classic loop with a classic assumption. The assumption here is you care for all. For anybody to care for you, you should be at least caring for some. By nature, we don't care about people we don't want to but we want to be cared by people, unaware about their wishes. Need to remember, world is not designed to suit you, or anyone for that matter, this is not say we need to alter ourselves but to say 'nobody cares' including you. Some of the people who care for us usually don't matter to us when they really start caring, as we 'move on' to get the care of new set of people and hence the classic loop. Hence there is always a mismatch of the care you show and get, barring some transition phases when you proclaim you are happy, otherwise you are solitary. Solitude is something that we dread and we usually try to run away from. We usually get the so-called happiness only when we run fast enough. Happiness then looks like a skill we gain through experience rather than the experience itself.

Being in solitude is not being cold or distant to others or running away from people, but its not craving for any pseudo-company or creation of any fake warmth around you to get one. Solitude is saying no to any artificial special effects to show or to perceive that you are a part of a big carnival. Solitude is creating a world of your own in your own little minds, where you can create a carnival or a circus or let loose your train of thoughts and here lies all the 'beauty' of it.

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