{Of all lies, art is the least untrue - Flaubert}

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Last days...

I have seen not less than 3 last days in my life. The first one was like a whisker which I wasn't even able to experience fully, the second one was a jolt and the third one was a conciliation to the fact that there will be more such days to come in my life. These last days are more related to professional life than to personal. On pure personal fronts I had my share of last days too, but that's a story for any other day.

My last day at school was not of much fuss, as deep inside I am quiet clear that none of friends is going to run far away, and they will be here for at least one more year. I don't even remember the last class as there were more important things to do like to prepare for exams and competitions. The urge to leave my hometown was more than the desire to have fun at school with my friends. As far as fun is considered that ended with class 10th or so. I cannot recall me having real fun after that, because of our so called careers-building in progress. I didn't even go to our farewell, just to revolt against the principal decision to wear uniforms during farewell. We had a get together at a restaurant much latter, when we all have some free time left after boards.

My last day in University of Roorkee was a sudden change in life. Although packing baggage and getting no dues did offer a cover to pretend to be busy, but actually we had no assignments to copy and no class to bunk. Its a sudden break in the pace of life from slow to very slow. I remember writing hundreds of slam book and writing about me, my friends and some abstract questions like 'What is love'. But I am sure that I was totally unaware about what I or my friends were really. I cannot give the right answers even today but I have come to a state where I can prove those false. I had a fuzzy perception that I am going to a 'world of all' from a 'closed community of friends' and no one will ever give a proxy for me. This me-alone-in-the-world idea scared me, amused me at that point.

My last day at Wipro was dull like any other corporate event. I had my circle of friends at Wipro but I was aware that I can meet them, call them, mail them, whenever I want to. The bonds were not weak but were less emotional. After about 3 years of work exp in s/w, I am sure that there will be more such last days to come and I should not mind them.

It is true that any event whose frequency increases with time no longer leave an impact on you. Also, if you fail (or may be ignore) to fathom the intensity of events, they are not going to effect you that deeper.

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