{Of all lies, art is the least untrue - Flaubert}

Monday, October 25, 2004

We Change

Its a different question whether it is for good or bad but we change. Some things in life try to kill you, those which fail, change you. If you change, you are not the same i.e. your previous self is killed and the mission is partially accomplished.

This every day killing is not a senti or warning stuff. It is like you get killed and you kill others and yourself. This bloodless killing is more important than the ordinary killings as we survive to bear to pain (or pleasure) of it. Some ppl like to change and other resist it or yet others donot care and change anyway. If we change everyday, even if a bit only, are we going to change fully to some other person. The thought scares in same way as I am going to die one day. If nothing is my own (I'm not talking about the material things) and what I think is 'myself' is going to change sooner or later to probably something which I hate today, the day is not far, I will hate my previous self. Its like hating some other person, just this is not going to harm the other as the 'hated one' is already dead. Sounds that, we are many persons at a time, one in dying state and other in making... sounds good.

They also say "which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger", probably they are talking about change. I am not taking about the 'Change for the sake of it', its shit and as bad as lip synching on stage, fooling yourself along with thousand others. Intentional changes are not bad. They may be efforts to improve, its like killing yourself for good. But one thing I have assumed is that the pre-self is totally killed in this killing, but there must be some old blood left to revolt for its survival. These types of 'Civil wars' may not always result in revolutions but will definitely result in other changes.

So the bad news is that we are going to be killed and the good news is that we will survive.

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